Scripture Reflections

“What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus’ question to the blind man in Mark 10, our Gospel reading this past Sunday, has been resonating in my heart since we heard the same question asked of James and John the previous Sunday (Mk. 10:36). What do we want Jesus to do for us? In what do we feel our need of him, and what do we blithely assume we’re capable of on our own? 
 
As Jesus assured James and John, in following him we will drink from his cup and be baptized with his baptism, which is to say, we will share in his suffering and even his death. Do we, like them (but perhaps not so bluntly), believe ourselves fully capable of following Jesus? “We are able—all we need from you is the promise of the greatness that is the due reward of our willingness and capability!” 
 
James and John’s answer of, “We are able,” to Jesus’ question brings to mind the story from Mark 9 of the man whose demon-possessed son the disciples were not able to heal. When Jesus came down from the mountain, he explained to Jesus why he had come to him and summed up what had happened in Jesus’ absence: “So I asked your disciples to cast it out, and they were not able.” He then asks Jesus, “...if you can do anything…help us.” Jesus rebukes him saying, “‘If you can!’ All things are possible for one who believes.” The man’s response is so poignant: “I believe, help my unbelief!” 
 
What is the root of our unbelief in Jesus’ ability? On inspection of my heart, and on hearing the story of James and John, unbelief seems in part to be rooted in pride. Where we are assured of our own ability, perhaps we lack faith in Jesus’ ability because we don’t know we need him. The blind man in Mark 10 comes to Jesus knowing his own lack and confident in Jesus’ ability to heal him. The end of his story, though, seems to point to a deeper lack and the beginning of a deeper healing. Jesus tells him his faith has made him well, and sends him off saying, “Go your way”—“And immediately,” Mark tells us, “he recovered his sight and followed him on the way.” 
 
Following Jesus, drinking from his cup and being baptized with his baptism, is not something I am able to do; like James and John in the Garden of Gethsemane, leaning on my own ability ends with me deserting my Lord in pursuit of safety wherever I can find it when that death he would lead me to is looming. “What do you want from me?” he asks. “Lord Jesus, I want my way to be swallowed up in following you on the way to the cross. I want my eyes to be opened that I might see you, my ears dug out that I might hear you, my mouth opened that I might speak your words, my heart of stone replaced with a heart of flesh, my fainting spirit to be upheld by your willing Spirit. I want to know my need of you. Show us our inability, that we might look to you—for you, oh Lord, are able. We believe, help our unbelief!”
 
Hannah