Scripture Reflections

Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand. (Matt 3:2)
 
Jesus’ call to repentance has been the way he has called me closer to himself. I still freeze up a bit when asked to share my testimony: by the immense grace of God, I grew up a believing child of believing parents, knowing the Lord from before I can remember. As a teenager in a pentecostal church community my testimony was rejected: “If that’s all, are you really saved?” My testimony is not one of dramatic conversion, but instead of being drawn closer to his side, as I pray it will be until I die, and then – praise God! – for all eternity.
 
As a young teenager I remember reading Jesus’ parable (in Luke 7:41-47) of the people forgiven their debts by the moneylender. I was struck and saddened by his statement, “He who is forgiven little, loves little.” I could imagine Jesus standing beside me saying, “Come, give up all your pet sins, and follow me,” but I didn’t know how. I truly thought, and I quote, “How will I ever grow to love the Lord more when I have so little to repent of?” Again, at the end of my teen years, I was praying the Lord’s Prayer with my congregation in Sunday service. Coming to, “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us,” I gave my heart as honest an examination as I could, and came up empty. Nothing to confess, nothing to forgive. Thankfully that was also when I turned to the Lord for help – this can’t be true, so how do I come to know the truth of my sin? 
 
“But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed.” (2 Cor. 3:16) Praise God, but also how terrifying! If the Lord shines on us, our darkness will be exposed, for “when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible” (Eph. 5:13) – visible, undeniable, awful in its ugliness, impossible to continue holding onto without directly defying my God.
 
But both 2 Corinthians and Ephesians continue, heaping grace upon grace. Ephesians 5:13-14 says, “For anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, ‘Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.’” 2 Corinthians 3:17-18 continues, “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.” 
 
In his mercy, our Father exposed my sin when I turned to him, and showed me that truly I have much to be forgiven. But it has been a long, slow journey, learning to resist the temptation to turn away and hide again in darkness. Fear, shame, pride, and a desire to continue in my own way – these all hinder me again and again from looking to the Lord and allowing the sunshine of his face to expose my darkness. As I hide my sins away from the Lord’s prying eyes, though, Satan uses them to blackmail me, to threaten me with exposure and to name me: liar, thief, promiscuous, pervert, lazy, unable to learn. But when I bring the sins my Lord convicts me of into the light of his presence, he sets me free and gives me my true name: loved, known, forgiven. As Paul says at the beginning of the passage in 2 Corinthians (3:12), “Since we have such a hope, we are very bold.” Emboldened by our hope, may we repent, and repenting may we be forgiven, and being forgiven, may we grow in love for our great Lord.
 
Hannah